Last Saturday my good friend Lady G and I took a wee road trip here :
http://www.seewooreading.co.uk/
I’d been lured by tales of Jackie Chan shampoo and the like so decided to give it a go. Suffice to say I was not disappointed with the array and quality of the goods that will enable me to further my quests in getting the authentic taste to my Thai cooking. I even did an air punch as I discovered a huge bunch of Thai, or Holy, Basil which I have never been able to purchase in the wretched provinces. I also snagged a jumbo bag of Kaffir lime leaves for the price you’d pay for a pot of about 6 in the major supermarkets. Resisting the stinky durian fruits and jumbo sizes Swiss rolls we returned to the car with our booty.
‘I don’t suppose I can corrupt you into going for an afternoon pint can I?’ I asked Lady G.
‘No’ she said ‘Because I was already planning on going for one too’. We laughed. ‘I even had a place in mind of where we might go!’.
‘Oh really’ said I ‘So did I!’.
Much hilarity ensued when it turns out we had earmarked the same pub. So off we went via Morrison’s (a.k.a ‘The Big M’) to get some supplies for that night, where Lady G was coming over to mine. When we walked into The Big M we both started grimacing and saying ‘Eurgh!’ in unison as we had both detected a foul stench. ‘What is that?’ we started saying to each other, then again in unison said ‘Smells like bum!!!’.
We were seduced by a trio of tapenade and compromised on a choice of cheese for the evening. Turns out Lady G doesn’t like anything blue and veiny you see. It all went a bit wrong as we were further seduced by a woman touting some
There was an unfortunate meltdown at the petrol forecourt by Lady G, but after that it was off to the pub. The pub! Hurrah!
We got a good vibe immediately as we entered the pub as they were playing ‘Band on the Run’ by Wings. A song that has featured on road trips together and also been bellowed along to on one of our many Spotify evenings. I ordered a pint of Kronenbourg and after much deliberation Lady G went for a pint of Stowford Press. That was after we had conferred about maybe getting her just a half but asking for it in a pint glass. We got a water chaser also.
Off to the waspy beer garden we went to put the world to rights and enjoy our pints.
Mid pint Lady G announced she was off to the pisser.
(Now at this point I need to explain that the pub we were at is the same brewery as another local pub we frequent. For years this pub has piped various BBC comedies through the sound system in the toilets, rather than music. So often you’re sat on the loo with Delboy. Or someone will come back and report that ‘Kenneth Williams was in my toilet’. Anyway all this will become relevant a bit later on.)
Whilst Lady G was in the toilet I decided to have a quick idle on Twitter. Lady G had sent me a message from the toilet asking why I didn’t tell her her flies were undone! Rather more disturbingly there were also a couple of recent tweets from people saying that Amy Winehouse had died…
So, Lady G returns from the pub and proceeds to tell me how ‘something really odd’ had happened in the toilet. She then went on to explain how ‘You know when we’re down the PA and sometimes you can hear Only Fools and Horses in the loo?’
‘Yes…?’ I said.
‘Well I’ve just heard comedy in the toilets here!’
Of course, referring back to my earlier explanation it’s obvious (at least to me) that that is because the pub plays these. Lady G then offered up a baffling conspiracy theory that it was now being run by the same people as the PA and she always thought it was someone in one of the upstairs rooms with the TV up too loud! In normal circumstances I would’ve ripped her something chronic for a long time about this…
‘Never mind that’ I said ‘I’ve seen on Twitter that Amy Winehouse is dead…?’
We didn’t want to believe it, but of course it instantly seemed credible. We spent the rest of the time at the pub frantically checking Twitter feeds for more news. Some people were saying it may be a hoax so we dimly clung onto that for a little while.
So enough futile witterings on my afternoon with Lady G. And I didn’t even explain about how I came to have a post it note in my wallet saying ‘Medium helmet’ or about the spicy cheese…
I had always been a Winehouse fan. I stumbled across the album ‘Frank’ just after it was released and was immediately impressed at its’ originality, at Amy’s voice and also the lyrics certainly struck a chord as I was picking myself up after a relationship breakdown and was now being messed around by men again. And although the follow up, critically acclaimed ‘Back to Black’ album is more well known I think I still prefer ‘Frank’. The CD inlay has some lovely photos of a younger, healthier, curvier Amy playing pool. I think that is how I will choose to remember her.
Perhaps I have a bit more sympathy for people battling with addiction. Someone very close to me is a recovered alcoholic and although I didn’t know them at the time that they were experiencing that I have nothing but the utmost respect and pride that they did overcome their addiction and completely turned their life around. But of course you’ve got to want to help yourself…
R.I.P Amy
