The Rave up of the Century... allegedly

I've been clearing up the garage this weekend and much to my amusement I have come across this, possibly my first ever attempt at journalism... the below is extremely cringeworthy.

Title: The Rave up of the Century!!!

On Saturday 22nd June 1991, I, Rachel Natalie Woolgar and my friend Susan Clair Matthews went to see the most gorgeous, talented, sexy, intelligent and grooviest rapper in the world, but his show was cancelled so we had to see Vanilla Ice instead (Only jokin' fans!!!)

We left Basingstoke at around 5.15pm to get to Wembley Arena in plenty of time for the 8pm show. We were both dressed in similar outfits (Levis T-shirts, jeans and trainers). I was excited and nervous but I don't know how Susan felt. I mean it's not every day you get to see somebody famous, someone whose pictures are on your walls, whose music you listen to, someone whose wild lifestyle is constantly in magazines and newspapers.

It didn't take long to get to London and soon we were trying to find the arena (don't worry Susan we weren't lost!) by about 6.30pm (ish) we were both trying to hide our excitement and nervousness as we went to join the long queue on the 'Blue Side'.

After passing various food stalls, we queued up behind three "Scabby McFlabbies", the queue seemed endless! I never realised the Ice man had quite so many fans! As we've moved along at a snail's pace I felt alarmed at the prospect of going a bit weird and OTT when Vanilla Ice came out on stage!

At around 6.55pm we were finally in (We had managed to escape the perils of being filmed by a film-crew) and having to part with our much valued tickets. Luckily you get half back as that is the only existing memory I have.

Merchandise next, there were daggy white T-shirts (£13) happenin' black T-shirts (Also £13) rather flimsy and rip-offy pendant thingymejiggs (£7) baseball caps (a rather un-respectable £13) and big, glossy posters (£4). Susan bought the nice type of T-shirt (Black) and we were away.

A Wembley steward showed us to seats 7 and 8, row L. We were in block 22 which to our surprise had a rather good view. Sitting down we realised we had an hour to kill till the support act were on (Riff) so after parting with our coats and then putting them back on again we went to the toilet.

After being shown to our seats (Again!!!) we sat around for a bit longer and then we decided to go and get some frozen yoghurt. Susan got a large strawberry one and after debating whether to get vanilla or not I decided to get a 'regular' strawberry one (NNNNNNOOOOOO topping!!!). This time we were not shown to our seats (Must've recognised us!) and after Susan thinking she was "Going to go for a Burton" we were both seated yoghurts and all in our seats.

It was now around 7.45pm, we were no so hyped all we could do was giggle rather hysterically and poked fun at the so-called "dudes" infront of us! As something to do we decided to work out where Rachel and Katherine had sat for their NKOTB concert: Huh! so much for seeing Joe's blue eyes! Their view must've been terrible (Well what do you expect at a NKOTB concert?)

I can't remember what we did till 8pm but I can remember getting more and more excited! When Riff came on I think I must've gone ape! Using Susan's "Opera glasses" we got a good view of the group, they were young black Americans, most of their songs were acapella numbers, very dancey. They were really good, and I think they could go far. They finished at around 8.30pm.

Susan and I had had quite a boogy to Riff's music and were getting really tense and hyped for the main attraction. I remember saying to Susan a few days before "Do you think you'll scream?" she'd said "No!". But at about 9.05pm on Saturday 22nd June 1991 as Robert Van Winkle, his funny clothes, dancers and brilliant raps came on stage I wasn't going to hold her to that!

As he started his first song ("Ice is workin' it", I think, I can't remember) I found I couldn't move, I couldn't believe he was on stage! I don't think Susan could either because she was crying!!! But soon we had calmed down and we were well into the music, I couldn't stop screaming! I thought I'd feel a bit of a plapper screaming - but everybody bar the adults and boys were screaming!

Using Susan's glasses I took in his outfit, a flashy American flag jacket and some stripey sequined shorts. No doubt he wore his usual pair of Nike trainers and his "#1" necklace.

The songs he played were: Ice, Ice Baby, Stop that Train, Hooked, Ice is workin' it, Life is a fantasy, Play that funky music, Satisfaction, Rollin' in my 5.0, Havin' a Roni and something that sounded a bit like 'Rosta Man' but wasn't!

Now I shall write a bit about the above songs.

"Ice Ice baby" was really good - the first time he just started the 2nd verse and then the audience just finished it for him! He told us he'd done lots of shows in lots of towns in lots of countries and was amazed we knew all the words! (I personally think this was bull- I mean, who doesn't know the lyrics to that song!!!??? Still it was pretty good.)

"Stop that train" always one of my fave songs, despite the pervy lyrics!!! it was exceptionally good live. "Hooked" was excellent, the groovy sax solo sounded really good (Whilst queueing up earlier we'd heard the saxophonist practicing this.) "Ice is workin' it" can't really remember much about this as I was screaming my head off all the way through, I'd never really thought of this as one of his better songs, but as always it sounded better live.

"Life is a fantasy" even if this song is of the strictly pervy nature it was pretty happening. "Play that funky music" my third best V.I song sounded hip and ultra groovy as Vanilla Ice and his posse launched into the 7" version of his top twenty hit.

"Rollin' in my 5.0" I hadn't even heard this one before and I'd heard it wasn't too good, but that must be a matter of opinion as I think it's really good! "Havin' a Roni" Vanilla Ice to audience ; "Are there any single women out there tonight?" Audience, especially a certain person whose initials are R.W "Yyyyyyyyeeeeeessssssssssss!!!". If I'd known then what a 'Roni' was I wouldn't have screamed so loud! This number finished off the show, it was a little longer than the album version (which last 1 min 09 secs) and the audience went wild!

As for the other song - what the hell was it??? Can't really comment on that one, 'cause I don't even know what it was called!! In between all those songs we were introduced to the V.I.P posse who demonstrated their dancing and rap techniques. We also had a competition! Who out of the left, right and middle could scream the loudest!!! I think we were the middle and we certainly gave it all we had in the screaming department!!!!!!

One thing that'll always stick in my head was the bit when V.I got us chanting: Vanilla Ice : "When I raise this arm (his right) I want all the women to shout "GO ICE! GO ICE GO!" and when I raise this arm (his left) I want all the men to shout "GO, GO, GO, GO HUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!". The 'Hurrrrrrggggghhhhh' consisted of thrusting one's groin forward, tres pervy! In fact it was all the chanting (Pump it up, pump it up London! Jus' wave yer hands in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care, Go white boy go white boy go!!!) that made it what it was, a brilliant night.

As he left the stage ("I'm outttaaaaaa here!") at about 10.45pm my only criticisms were: It was over, it didn't last long enough and he didn't play my favourite "I love you".

So it was back down the steps in a throng of people along the corridor and out the main entrance to find Susan's Dad by the "Number 2" pillar (Easier said than done!) however we were soon seated in the car amongst a lot of traffic. It was all over, but at least we had many happy memories (and ringing ears) !!!!!

Copyright Rachel Natalie Woolgar, June 29th 1991.

Jesus wept...

A few things to note: A 'Roni' was apparently slang for a virgin - delightful.

I am not exactly sure on what level a T-shirt can be happenin'.

Who the hell were Riff?

I loved the over use of exclamation marks even back then.

I am really not sure why a career at the NME did not beckon after this...

Adventures in chairland...the chapter ends

Just a v.quick excuse for a post this week as I fear that there is SO much going on right now (when is there not...?) that I may get a bit behind with my 'one a week' commitment to blogging. I have got next week off but ... there has been a significant development with the move and it looks like we will be moving house in just under two weeks. Same week I start the new job. So I think the next few weeks are going to be a bit hectic whilst I try and declutter 10 years of crap from my house. It's the kitchen cupboards tomorrow (there's a tin of BEAR in there, of all things) and today a huge bag of clothes was left out for the NSPCC. Although to be fair, a sack of clothing cleared out of my wardrobe is about as effective as chucking a deckchair off the Titanic. But still.

So, just under two hours to go at 'the job'. 'The job' that got me out of a hole after not working for six months (halcyon days full of endless trips to the gym and Starbucks, oh yes and the Job Centre.) but 'The job' that has also threatened by mental health somewhat the last few months as I felt increasingly stuck in somewhat of a career cul-de-sac. I have scored a bottle of Moet and a posh plant for the new gaff.

And so back to publishing. During my 18 month hiatus from publishing I have questioned whether I really wanted to go back into it, or if I was just clinging to it because it's all I've ever known/done since University. During my interview at the new place I realised how enthusiastic (geeky?) and animated I became as I talked about publishing, book shops, selling cycles, retailers vs wholesalers etc and also how right it felt to be surrounded again by books in display units, dump bins and, even better, spilling out of crammed bookshelves. I felt like I'd come home.

No doubt I will blog about it so watch this space...