I admit it. I have had some weird celebrity crushes in the past. Whatever, I'll hold my head up high proud that I do not like the same people everyone else likes. David Beckham? no thanks. Daniel Craig? silly swimming trunks. Morten Harket? I prefer Mags... you get the picture.
So, here for you are some of my most embarrassing celebrity (although the term can be used losely...) crushes. In no particular order:
1 - Adam Woodyatt - yes that is Ian Beale from Eastenders. Circa '87 if you will.
2 - Spider from Corrie.
3 - Peter Barlow from Corrie.
4 - Peter Duncan of Duncan Dares/Blue Peter fame.
5 - Danny from NKOTB. What can I say I favoured the underdog.
6 - Rick Astley.
7 - Currently it's Super Hans from Peep Show.
8 - I think I took quite a shine to Roy Castle he of Record Breakers...? maybe not, the mind plays tricks...
9 - Sanjay from Eastenders. Soaps seemed to be a hotbed of hunks (?) in my early teens...
10 - Dieter Brummer in Home & Away, actually that's not embarrassing he was lush. Oh heck, I maybe quite liked Clive from Neighbours...
So there we have it...
Oh c'mon, stand up and be counted, what were yours?
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Thursday, 16 December 2010
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
Love it or hate it, you can’t avoid it now that Christmas is just around the corner! So it seems timely that I should blog about Christmas but what with the writing of cards, the tedium of wrapping presents (for the record mine look like Stevie Wonder did them aided by Ray Charles), food shopping and the endless round of nights out and festive meals I ain’t got the time… instead you’ll have to make do with a sort of stream of consciousness affair of random Christmas memories, traditions and thoughts. So get comfortable and pour yourself a large Bailey’s while you’re at it grab a handful of
I do enjoy a walk on Christmas Day, something the other half can’t seem to comprehend. Even if we just had an amble round the block we always went for a walk on Christmas Day to “walk off the lunch” – well probably a few sprouts or a carrot. One year Dad made us look for reindeer prints from Rudolf. We looked very hard…
My Sister and I were not allowed to get up on Christmas Day until we had heard the heating kick in and the boiler firing up. As soon as one of us heard it we would wake the other ‘I think I heard it?!’ we would then go and take our stockings to Mum & Dad’s room to open them up. One memorable year they were on camp beds in the cupboard under the stairs due to a full-house that year of both sets of grandparents. My Sister had a terrible sweet tooth even then so most years she kicked off Christmas Day by devouring a fair bit of chocolate and then felt sick. She never learnt. (It was almost most definitely her then who couldn’t wait to eat the chocolates off the tree so ate some then stuffed the wrappers back into other wrappers to make fake decorations as not to get found out…)
As we weren’t that well off when I was a kid Mum would quite often make us presents which we were always delighted with. I still have the little bean filled rabbit toy, modelled on Miffy, named Snowball. She’s lost most of her mouth and she could do with a good wash but I still treasure her. But the best present by far were the ‘bedsits’ Mum had made for our dolls out of a large cardboard box. These had featured on Blue Peter and Mum stayed up at night to make them long after we went to bed. A bag of off cuts from Laura Ashley were employed for the soft furnishings. A large decorative postage stamp made a good painting and matchboxes were magically turned into chests of drawers with the aid of some wood-effect sticky backed plastic and paper fasteners. The only thing that took the shine off these presents were when family friends, The Heads, used to pop round in the evening for drinks and nibbles and their two children would dismiss our unique crafted gifts by pissing all over them (not literally) with tales of their new Star Wars toys, Casio keyboards, BMXs etc. We never wanted for much to be honest as long as I got my new packet of felt tip pens I was a reasonably happy bunny.
We were allowed a cheeky Babycham and lemonade on Christmas Day at lunch. At New Year we were allowed a Snowball. I bought both of these concoctions for my 80s party earlier this year and the latter was rendered disgusting…actually let’s say abominable… the abominable snowball? See what I did there? The Babycham was passable and I have a fair bit left so it seems the right thing to do this year to quaff it on Christmas Day.
I have never seen The Queen’s Speech. Never have, hopefully never will.
I have only ever once gone out on the lash on Christmas Eve and even then had to be back home and tucked up in bed before midnight. Too many friends have stories of getting so wasted and spoiling the big day. It’s never appealed. I’ve had a few messy 23rds of December, but that’s acceptable. These days my Christmas Eve tradition is to go home as soon as I can from work watch Love Actually, do some baking and usually exchange presents with my friend accompanied by some mulled wine. The idea of going on a complete bender just doesn’t seem right.
My favourite Christmas song is ‘Christmas Wrapping’ by The Waitresses. ‘Stop the Cavalry’ is passable too. There haven’t been any really good Christmas songs for ages!
Pick N Mix teas were a feature of childhood Christmases. Yes, ok, that’s leftovers to you and me. Calling them that made them more palatable. As you can imagine it was the cold cuts of meat with salads, bread and butter and of course…pickles! I loved pickled onions as a child and still do. Since I’ve left home I have bought pickled onions, red cabbage, beetroot and piccalilli every Christmas because in my mind they are synonymous with Christmas. Often they are still skulking in the back of the ‘fridge come Easter. Despite my fondness for dried fruit I am not a huge fan of Christmas cake or the dry and dreaded Stollen. I prefer chocolates or a good Yule log if it’s going. Quality Street is my preference, especially the green triangles. I had to fight my Granddad for these as a child but now… they’re all MINE. And whoever invented the giant green triangles…well give that person a medal! Alongside birthdays and the summer holiday Christmas was also the time of year we were allowed fizzy drinks. There was Coke and lemonade but also limeade, cherryade (ugh!) and my favourite, cream soda. I had some of this on holiday recently (ok as a mixer with vodka) and it’s still good stuff.
Having a Mum who was also an infant school teacher was not always a good thing. Whilst my peers discussed their morning advent calendar finds in the playground; my advent calendar was never a shocker due to the fact that Mum had made my sister and I a calendar from old Christmas cards which was wheeled out annually. Thus what was behind the door every day was no great surprise. I got my first commercial, chocolate advent calendar at the age of 19. The other Christmas stalwart was the pasta Madonna. I am almost ‘LOL’ as I type this. Imagine, a figurine of the Virgin Mary made entirely of different types of pasta. No, not something dreamt up by Dali but made by my Mum. You have to try and use your imagination here. It was sprayed silver. I wonder where it is? I wonder if you can get a low-carb version these days.
The school Christmas disco was a much hyped up event which always left me feeling as deflated as the balloons that decorated the school hall. My friend Susan and I would plot for literally weeks about what we were going to wear (if I say ‘body’ you know what era we’re talking about…) and scoured the little chemist by the big Sainsbury’s for all sorts of amazing make up we were going to plaster on. At the age of 34 I still can’t master liquid eyeliner. The reason for this is that we both usually had an object of desire in mind that we were going to try and win over at said event. It always backfired. Most of this time we actually fancied the same boy and were inconsolable when he chose to dance with neither one of us one year at the disco. Many years we sat on the sidelines waiting to be asked to dance, like the wallflowers in Grease, and it never happened. We both say to this day that the opening bars of Slade’s “Merry Christmas Everybody” are quite depressing as they signified the end of the disco and not being asked to dance…again…!
I haven’t eaten meat since I was 14, save the odd drunken pork scratching or misjudged item at a buffet. My family were vegetarian too so Mum used to go to town on a vegetarian option. This usually involved blood, sweat and tears on her part and wrangling with sheets of filo pastry after a fair few sherries. I remember the festive cracker which was essentially a nut roast topped with cheese and spinach and…pastry. And something dubbed ‘The Martin Platt’ again a concoction of nuts and vegetables and…pastry; this time in a plait formation. Mmmm yum… these days I am just happy with a plate of vegetables to be honest as long as there are sprouts.
I'd love to hear your traditions and rituals...?
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Book worm and proud of it...
No-one ever asks you what was the first book you bought? It’s always records (am really showing my age here) but seldom books. Of course I can’t actually remember the first book I bought. But books have always been around. I was extremely lucky to be surrounded by books from a young age. My parents are incredibly intelligent and well-educated people and my Mum in particular has always been an avid reader. Dad reads a bit more since retirement and in any case we’re not sure he is eligible to get books from the library as there’s the small matter of the unreturned Reggie Perrin book he has had since 1984…*
Books have always been an enormous part of my life and have now become my bread and butter as I have worked for a number of different publishers and a bookshop since I left University. Ergo I now proudly boast an enormous collection of books, many of which I didn’t have to pay for or got hefty discounts on.
I remember as a child lying in bed looking at the shelves of my parents’ books which were kept in my room (I’m guessing every other bookshelf in the house was hemorrhaging books so they had to use mine) and making up plots for the ‘grown up’ books that I was yet to discover: The Diary of Samuel Pepys (his surname pronounced ‘peppies’ in my mind), Lord of the Rings (I decided that was written by J.R.Tokking?), that Shakespeare book looks a bit big, not sure I’ll bother with that one. I decided to learn Latin from the weighty tome on my shelf. I think I learnt the word ‘via’ and that was as far as it went.
As a child I devoured books, they were my drug I couldn’t get enough. Every Saturday I was taken to the town library to get my fix. I think I was allowed four or five books which I had usually read by Sunday afternoon. Then there was the long stretch, my cold turkey, until the following Saturday when I could get some more. Astrid Lindgren’s Bullerby Children, Orlando the marmalade cat and Brambly Hedge were among my favourites. I never ‘got’ Dr Seuss and remembering being hugely disappointed one weekend when I’d squandered my school library choice of only one book on the dreary ‘Horton hears a whoo’.
At infant school as part of our varied and taxing timetable we had activities. This meant you could go and play in the sandpit or water trough or, if the weather was inclement, indoor play such as playing in the Wendy house. I saw all this as boring and pointless. I never played Mummies and Daddies in the Wendy house. Instead, I used my leisure time to either read more books in the library or to write my own! Yes, as a precocious six year old I harangued my teacher (Mrs Bridge) into giving me my own special exercise book so I could write my own book. The chronicles of the ‘Cat Family’ eventually spanned three separate exercise books. They’re still knocking around somewhere. Maybe I’ll send them to a publisher.
Junior school bought new excitement with the Wise Owl book club. A system where you could purchase stickers for 10p and save them up in a special card to exchange for a shiny new book. This was also the era my peers and I discovered Judy Blume and I used to sneak some of the more adult themed titles from my sister’s shelf.
Other favourites I remember from childhood were: The Munch Bunch and The Garden Gang series, Mr Men (Mum hated us reading these), Beatrix Potter, Russell Hoban’s ‘Frances’ books, The Mog books, The Giant Jam Sandwich, Flossie Teacake, Grimble, The Fib, Goodnight Mister Tom. Ann of Green Gables bored me and I abhorred Enid Blyton.
Secondary School English lessons were uninspiring as we waded through books I had usually read many years before. I also didn’t see the value in reading out loud to the class. Sorry can’t be arsed. Out of school I traded my pocket money for books I did want to read. Even if it was the Sweet Valley Twins series.
English was always my best subject at school so it was inevitable that my University degree would be in English Literature. Towards the end of my degree I started to mentally compile a list of books I could read ‘for fun’ once the degree was finished. This ended up being a huge amount of chick lit to rest my addled brain tempered with a fair bit of Irvine Welsh. I also discovered Jonathan Coe and rediscovered Ian McEwan. Had a brief flirtation with Martin Amis and a soft spot for Lisa Jewell. I rarely make time to read ‘the classics’ anymore.
I can’t just have one favourite book of all time so my joint favourites are The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Attwood and The Buddha of Suburbia by Hanif Kureishi. Recent favourites have included Room, The Post Birthday World, We Need To Talk About Kevin, Time Traveller’s Wife, Louise Wener’s Different For Girls, One Day, The Emperor’s Children, What I Loved... I tactically avoid the latest blockbusters and you can jolly well keep Harry Potter. And I still haven’t finished Shantaram after carrying it round about 8 different countries.
I also own an enormous amount of cookery books, a.k.a food porn. I can count on one hand the number of dishes I have actually made from these books but I do enjoy thumbing through them for inspiration. Or, usually just looking at the pictures when I am on a diet and feeling hungry. Nigella’s Domestic Goddess one is especially good for this purpose.
I am now the member of a book group which is good as it is challenging me to read outside of what I usually pick. The first book was crime/thriller which I have always emphatically steered away from.
E-books scare the bejesus out of me. It took me long enough to get a DVD player. I know they are the way forward but they are just not for me. No thank you. I’d probably still be using an abacus in lieu of a calculator and two yoghurt pots and some string rather than a mobile phone if I could get away with it.
(* I realise this anecdote would be so much better if it was an unreturned George Orwell book…)
Sunday, 24 October 2010
The dog ate my homework...and I er, left it on a bus
Ok, I hold my hands up I have been crap of late with this here blog.
Reasons, excuses; call it what you will but since I last blogged the following things have prevented me updating this:
1) that great new job I was bragging about went t*ts up after 8 days so I had to find a new one.
2) I found a better job instead but it took me 6 weeks
3) Aforementioned better job took me to Deutschland for my first week
4) I moved house! yes I did
5) I had to put house together (er, well I didn't have to build it, per se, but you understand)
6) Sky Internet are shite
7) BT Internet are even more shite
8) My hands got chopped off
Ok...so number 8 is a fabrication...
Watch this space, I WILL be back. Indeed I will.
Reasons, excuses; call it what you will but since I last blogged the following things have prevented me updating this:
1) that great new job I was bragging about went t*ts up after 8 days so I had to find a new one.
2) I found a better job instead but it took me 6 weeks
3) Aforementioned better job took me to Deutschland for my first week
4) I moved house! yes I did
5) I had to put house together (er, well I didn't have to build it, per se, but you understand)
6) Sky Internet are shite
7) BT Internet are even more shite
8) My hands got chopped off
Ok...so number 8 is a fabrication...
Watch this space, I WILL be back. Indeed I will.
Monday, 6 September 2010
Back to school!
I bloody hated school. There, I've said it. "Best Days of Your Life" and all that pony. Yeah right, not when you end up going to one of the worst secondary schools in the area and your swear word vocabulary was extended within your first few days there, you got mocked for talking"posh" (no, I talk properly) and for the first three years you get teased for being fat. Great stuff... it's okay the therapy has been working (joke).
I can see that my behaviour and attitudes as a pupil was definitely a blueprint for my adult life in the workplace. I just wanted to get on with it, keep my head down and get my work done. I didn't bang on about how great I was, nor was I especially verbose or difficult. I wasn't a teachers' pet and I think I managed 5 years at the school without some of the teachers knowing who I was. I was occasionally reprimanded for my sarcasm (I am sure you're shocked) and for those of you who actually know me it won't come as a surprise that more often than not I was in trouble for my uniform, make up and jewellery.
I was trying to think what I actually did get into trouble for at school and have managed to compile this list of heinous crimes:
1) My one and only detention was a mere threatened detention for drawing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Heroes in a half shell!) instead of doing science.
2) Every day I was told off for wearing more than one earring per ear. Ironically by a teacher who had two earrings in each lughole.
3) My friend Susan and I managed to get Doctor Marten boots BANNED... but get this, only banned for girls to wear them! in the end they conceded and agreed we could wear them under trousers but not with long skirts.
4) Bollocked for ripping my cauliflower into florets rather than using a vegetable knife. It's no wonder I wasn't sent to the headmaster straight away for this terrible offence.
5) The same teacher was apoplectic with rage when I broke the sewing machine needle (possibly she had anger management issues.)
6) Bellowed at in PSE as the teacher thought my friend and I were laughing at A.I.D.S "God help you girls if you think this is funny!". We were actually cringing and pulling faces at the mention of 'cherry red blood' which was symptomatic of having H.I.V (I think, I suspect we weren't listening but we certainly didn't find it funny...)
7) Accused of cheating in a history test as myself and my friend Michelle got the same mark. She had actually copied me but the teacher blamed me as she disliked me. I later shamed her (oh god, or did I bully her? the mind plays tricks...) into a public apology. I loved history and fancied doing it at A-level but as she predicted me a D grade at GCSE I thought it wasn't possible. I got a B grade and took great delight in making sure I caught up with the teacher on the presentation day to tell her I got a B. "Oh, well done what was your predicted grade?" "D". In your face Mrs Childs. IN YOUR FACE.
8) Paxo gate: our geography teacher looked the spit of a character in a Paxo stuffing advert at the time and was constantly ribbed over this. My friend was definitely teacher's pet as we used to sit together and do identical work. She would always get 10/10 and me 9.5/10 for the same work. I also thought that he didn't actually read or check the work, merely awarded the mark depending on his fondness for the student. I decided to test my theory by inserting the word 'paxo' a few times into my work. Sure enough we handed our exercise books in. My friend was awarded another 10 and me another 9.5. I decided to challenge the mark and said "Sir, did you actually read my work?" when he claimed he had I said "Well you couldn't have done as I put the word 'paxo' in it and you didn't notice!". Luckily he took this with good humour but also said he was dropping the mark to a 9!
And there you have it. Definitely a rebel without clue in those days. I rarely did P.E which is pretty ironic considering I start a personal training course this week. I think the P.E shirking will have to make a separate blog though.
I even shunned the "Leavers Ball". This wasn't on the grand scale that you see these days, it was a more modest affair in the sports hall. I think it was just a disco and some food but everyone was going to town getting posh frocks and finding a date. Er, no thanks. I boycotted the ball and went into town with two other school friends. We dined at Pizzaland (thinking we were terribly sophisticated) then blagged our way into "Martines" nightclub with fake ID. With hindsight it was probably blatantly obvious we were underage as we turned up at around 9pm and were probably the only patrons for at least two hours. We supped some Diamond White and had a bit of a dance until someones Dad came to pick us up at the Cinderella like hour of 11.30pm.
Conversely I loved Sixth form and adored my time at University, because you were treated like an adult there and were also learning things you actually wanted to learn. I dropped maths and sciences as soon as I was able and have never indulged in team sports since.
So yep, so called best days of my life. I beg to differ...
I can see that my behaviour and attitudes as a pupil was definitely a blueprint for my adult life in the workplace. I just wanted to get on with it, keep my head down and get my work done. I didn't bang on about how great I was, nor was I especially verbose or difficult. I wasn't a teachers' pet and I think I managed 5 years at the school without some of the teachers knowing who I was. I was occasionally reprimanded for my sarcasm (I am sure you're shocked) and for those of you who actually know me it won't come as a surprise that more often than not I was in trouble for my uniform, make up and jewellery.
I was trying to think what I actually did get into trouble for at school and have managed to compile this list of heinous crimes:
1) My one and only detention was a mere threatened detention for drawing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Heroes in a half shell!) instead of doing science.
2) Every day I was told off for wearing more than one earring per ear. Ironically by a teacher who had two earrings in each lughole.
3) My friend Susan and I managed to get Doctor Marten boots BANNED... but get this, only banned for girls to wear them! in the end they conceded and agreed we could wear them under trousers but not with long skirts.
4) Bollocked for ripping my cauliflower into florets rather than using a vegetable knife. It's no wonder I wasn't sent to the headmaster straight away for this terrible offence.
5) The same teacher was apoplectic with rage when I broke the sewing machine needle (possibly she had anger management issues.)
6) Bellowed at in PSE as the teacher thought my friend and I were laughing at A.I.D.S "God help you girls if you think this is funny!". We were actually cringing and pulling faces at the mention of 'cherry red blood' which was symptomatic of having H.I.V (I think, I suspect we weren't listening but we certainly didn't find it funny...)
7) Accused of cheating in a history test as myself and my friend Michelle got the same mark. She had actually copied me but the teacher blamed me as she disliked me. I later shamed her (oh god, or did I bully her? the mind plays tricks...) into a public apology. I loved history and fancied doing it at A-level but as she predicted me a D grade at GCSE I thought it wasn't possible. I got a B grade and took great delight in making sure I caught up with the teacher on the presentation day to tell her I got a B. "Oh, well done what was your predicted grade?" "D". In your face Mrs Childs. IN YOUR FACE.
8) Paxo gate: our geography teacher looked the spit of a character in a Paxo stuffing advert at the time and was constantly ribbed over this. My friend was definitely teacher's pet as we used to sit together and do identical work. She would always get 10/10 and me 9.5/10 for the same work. I also thought that he didn't actually read or check the work, merely awarded the mark depending on his fondness for the student. I decided to test my theory by inserting the word 'paxo' a few times into my work. Sure enough we handed our exercise books in. My friend was awarded another 10 and me another 9.5. I decided to challenge the mark and said "Sir, did you actually read my work?" when he claimed he had I said "Well you couldn't have done as I put the word 'paxo' in it and you didn't notice!". Luckily he took this with good humour but also said he was dropping the mark to a 9!
And there you have it. Definitely a rebel without clue in those days. I rarely did P.E which is pretty ironic considering I start a personal training course this week. I think the P.E shirking will have to make a separate blog though.
I even shunned the "Leavers Ball". This wasn't on the grand scale that you see these days, it was a more modest affair in the sports hall. I think it was just a disco and some food but everyone was going to town getting posh frocks and finding a date. Er, no thanks. I boycotted the ball and went into town with two other school friends. We dined at Pizzaland (thinking we were terribly sophisticated) then blagged our way into "Martines" nightclub with fake ID. With hindsight it was probably blatantly obvious we were underage as we turned up at around 9pm and were probably the only patrons for at least two hours. We supped some Diamond White and had a bit of a dance until someones Dad came to pick us up at the Cinderella like hour of 11.30pm.
Conversely I loved Sixth form and adored my time at University, because you were treated like an adult there and were also learning things you actually wanted to learn. I dropped maths and sciences as soon as I was able and have never indulged in team sports since.
So yep, so called best days of my life. I beg to differ...
Sunday, 8 August 2010
The Rave up of the Century... allegedly
I've been clearing up the garage this weekend and much to my amusement I have come across this, possibly my first ever attempt at journalism... the below is extremely cringeworthy.
Title: The Rave up of the Century!!!
On Saturday 22nd June 1991, I, Rachel Natalie Woolgar and my friend Susan Clair Matthews went to see the most gorgeous, talented, sexy, intelligent and grooviest rapper in the world, but his show was cancelled so we had to see Vanilla Ice instead (Only jokin' fans!!!)
We left Basingstoke at around 5.15pm to get to Wembley Arena in plenty of time for the 8pm show. We were both dressed in similar outfits (Levis T-shirts, jeans and trainers). I was excited and nervous but I don't know how Susan felt. I mean it's not every day you get to see somebody famous, someone whose pictures are on your walls, whose music you listen to, someone whose wild lifestyle is constantly in magazines and newspapers.
It didn't take long to get to London and soon we were trying to find the arena (don't worry Susan we weren't lost!) by about 6.30pm (ish) we were both trying to hide our excitement and nervousness as we went to join the long queue on the 'Blue Side'.
After passing various food stalls, we queued up behind three "Scabby McFlabbies", the queue seemed endless! I never realised the Ice man had quite so many fans! As we've moved along at a snail's pace I felt alarmed at the prospect of going a bit weird and OTT when Vanilla Ice came out on stage!
At around 6.55pm we were finally in (We had managed to escape the perils of being filmed by a film-crew) and having to part with our much valued tickets. Luckily you get half back as that is the only existing memory I have.
Merchandise next, there were daggy white T-shirts (£13) happenin' black T-shirts (Also £13) rather flimsy and rip-offy pendant thingymejiggs (£7) baseball caps (a rather un-respectable £13) and big, glossy posters (£4). Susan bought the nice type of T-shirt (Black) and we were away.
A Wembley steward showed us to seats 7 and 8, row L. We were in block 22 which to our surprise had a rather good view. Sitting down we realised we had an hour to kill till the support act were on (Riff) so after parting with our coats and then putting them back on again we went to the toilet.
After being shown to our seats (Again!!!) we sat around for a bit longer and then we decided to go and get some frozen yoghurt. Susan got a large strawberry one and after debating whether to get vanilla or not I decided to get a 'regular' strawberry one (NNNNNNOOOOOO topping!!!). This time we were not shown to our seats (Must've recognised us!) and after Susan thinking she was "Going to go for a Burton" we were both seated yoghurts and all in our seats.
It was now around 7.45pm, we were no so hyped all we could do was giggle rather hysterically and poked fun at the so-called "dudes" infront of us! As something to do we decided to work out where Rachel and Katherine had sat for their NKOTB concert: Huh! so much for seeing Joe's blue eyes! Their view must've been terrible (Well what do you expect at a NKOTB concert?)
I can't remember what we did till 8pm but I can remember getting more and more excited! When Riff came on I think I must've gone ape! Using Susan's "Opera glasses" we got a good view of the group, they were young black Americans, most of their songs were acapella numbers, very dancey. They were really good, and I think they could go far. They finished at around 8.30pm.
Susan and I had had quite a boogy to Riff's music and were getting really tense and hyped for the main attraction. I remember saying to Susan a few days before "Do you think you'll scream?" she'd said "No!". But at about 9.05pm on Saturday 22nd June 1991 as Robert Van Winkle, his funny clothes, dancers and brilliant raps came on stage I wasn't going to hold her to that!
As he started his first song ("Ice is workin' it", I think, I can't remember) I found I couldn't move, I couldn't believe he was on stage! I don't think Susan could either because she was crying!!! But soon we had calmed down and we were well into the music, I couldn't stop screaming! I thought I'd feel a bit of a plapper screaming - but everybody bar the adults and boys were screaming!
Using Susan's glasses I took in his outfit, a flashy American flag jacket and some stripey sequined shorts. No doubt he wore his usual pair of Nike trainers and his "#1" necklace.
The songs he played were: Ice, Ice Baby, Stop that Train, Hooked, Ice is workin' it, Life is a fantasy, Play that funky music, Satisfaction, Rollin' in my 5.0, Havin' a Roni and something that sounded a bit like 'Rosta Man' but wasn't!
Now I shall write a bit about the above songs.
"Ice Ice baby" was really good - the first time he just started the 2nd verse and then the audience just finished it for him! He told us he'd done lots of shows in lots of towns in lots of countries and was amazed we knew all the words! (I personally think this was bull- I mean, who doesn't know the lyrics to that song!!!??? Still it was pretty good.)
"Stop that train" always one of my fave songs, despite the pervy lyrics!!! it was exceptionally good live. "Hooked" was excellent, the groovy sax solo sounded really good (Whilst queueing up earlier we'd heard the saxophonist practicing this.) "Ice is workin' it" can't really remember much about this as I was screaming my head off all the way through, I'd never really thought of this as one of his better songs, but as always it sounded better live.
"Life is a fantasy" even if this song is of the strictly pervy nature it was pretty happening. "Play that funky music" my third best V.I song sounded hip and ultra groovy as Vanilla Ice and his posse launched into the 7" version of his top twenty hit.
"Rollin' in my 5.0" I hadn't even heard this one before and I'd heard it wasn't too good, but that must be a matter of opinion as I think it's really good! "Havin' a Roni" Vanilla Ice to audience ; "Are there any single women out there tonight?" Audience, especially a certain person whose initials are R.W "Yyyyyyyyeeeeeessssssssssss!!!". If I'd known then what a 'Roni' was I wouldn't have screamed so loud! This number finished off the show, it was a little longer than the album version (which last 1 min 09 secs) and the audience went wild!
As for the other song - what the hell was it??? Can't really comment on that one, 'cause I don't even know what it was called!! In between all those songs we were introduced to the V.I.P posse who demonstrated their dancing and rap techniques. We also had a competition! Who out of the left, right and middle could scream the loudest!!! I think we were the middle and we certainly gave it all we had in the screaming department!!!!!!
One thing that'll always stick in my head was the bit when V.I got us chanting: Vanilla Ice : "When I raise this arm (his right) I want all the women to shout "GO ICE! GO ICE GO!" and when I raise this arm (his left) I want all the men to shout "GO, GO, GO, GO HUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!". The 'Hurrrrrrggggghhhhh' consisted of thrusting one's groin forward, tres pervy! In fact it was all the chanting (Pump it up, pump it up London! Jus' wave yer hands in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care, Go white boy go white boy go!!!) that made it what it was, a brilliant night.
As he left the stage ("I'm outttaaaaaa here!") at about 10.45pm my only criticisms were: It was over, it didn't last long enough and he didn't play my favourite "I love you".
So it was back down the steps in a throng of people along the corridor and out the main entrance to find Susan's Dad by the "Number 2" pillar (Easier said than done!) however we were soon seated in the car amongst a lot of traffic. It was all over, but at least we had many happy memories (and ringing ears) !!!!!
Copyright Rachel Natalie Woolgar, June 29th 1991.
Jesus wept...
A few things to note: A 'Roni' was apparently slang for a virgin - delightful.
I am not exactly sure on what level a T-shirt can be happenin'.
Who the hell were Riff?
I loved the over use of exclamation marks even back then.
I am really not sure why a career at the NME did not beckon after this...
Title: The Rave up of the Century!!!
On Saturday 22nd June 1991, I, Rachel Natalie Woolgar and my friend Susan Clair Matthews went to see the most gorgeous, talented, sexy, intelligent and grooviest rapper in the world, but his show was cancelled so we had to see Vanilla Ice instead (Only jokin' fans!!!)
We left Basingstoke at around 5.15pm to get to Wembley Arena in plenty of time for the 8pm show. We were both dressed in similar outfits (Levis T-shirts, jeans and trainers). I was excited and nervous but I don't know how Susan felt. I mean it's not every day you get to see somebody famous, someone whose pictures are on your walls, whose music you listen to, someone whose wild lifestyle is constantly in magazines and newspapers.
It didn't take long to get to London and soon we were trying to find the arena (don't worry Susan we weren't lost!) by about 6.30pm (ish) we were both trying to hide our excitement and nervousness as we went to join the long queue on the 'Blue Side'.
After passing various food stalls, we queued up behind three "Scabby McFlabbies", the queue seemed endless! I never realised the Ice man had quite so many fans! As we've moved along at a snail's pace I felt alarmed at the prospect of going a bit weird and OTT when Vanilla Ice came out on stage!
At around 6.55pm we were finally in (We had managed to escape the perils of being filmed by a film-crew) and having to part with our much valued tickets. Luckily you get half back as that is the only existing memory I have.
Merchandise next, there were daggy white T-shirts (£13) happenin' black T-shirts (Also £13) rather flimsy and rip-offy pendant thingymejiggs (£7) baseball caps (a rather un-respectable £13) and big, glossy posters (£4). Susan bought the nice type of T-shirt (Black) and we were away.
A Wembley steward showed us to seats 7 and 8, row L. We were in block 22 which to our surprise had a rather good view. Sitting down we realised we had an hour to kill till the support act were on (Riff) so after parting with our coats and then putting them back on again we went to the toilet.
After being shown to our seats (Again!!!) we sat around for a bit longer and then we decided to go and get some frozen yoghurt. Susan got a large strawberry one and after debating whether to get vanilla or not I decided to get a 'regular' strawberry one (NNNNNNOOOOOO topping!!!). This time we were not shown to our seats (Must've recognised us!) and after Susan thinking she was "Going to go for a Burton" we were both seated yoghurts and all in our seats.
It was now around 7.45pm, we were no so hyped all we could do was giggle rather hysterically and poked fun at the so-called "dudes" infront of us! As something to do we decided to work out where Rachel and Katherine had sat for their NKOTB concert: Huh! so much for seeing Joe's blue eyes! Their view must've been terrible (Well what do you expect at a NKOTB concert?)
I can't remember what we did till 8pm but I can remember getting more and more excited! When Riff came on I think I must've gone ape! Using Susan's "Opera glasses" we got a good view of the group, they were young black Americans, most of their songs were acapella numbers, very dancey. They were really good, and I think they could go far. They finished at around 8.30pm.
Susan and I had had quite a boogy to Riff's music and were getting really tense and hyped for the main attraction. I remember saying to Susan a few days before "Do you think you'll scream?" she'd said "No!". But at about 9.05pm on Saturday 22nd June 1991 as Robert Van Winkle, his funny clothes, dancers and brilliant raps came on stage I wasn't going to hold her to that!
As he started his first song ("Ice is workin' it", I think, I can't remember) I found I couldn't move, I couldn't believe he was on stage! I don't think Susan could either because she was crying!!! But soon we had calmed down and we were well into the music, I couldn't stop screaming! I thought I'd feel a bit of a plapper screaming - but everybody bar the adults and boys were screaming!
Using Susan's glasses I took in his outfit, a flashy American flag jacket and some stripey sequined shorts. No doubt he wore his usual pair of Nike trainers and his "#1" necklace.
The songs he played were: Ice, Ice Baby, Stop that Train, Hooked, Ice is workin' it, Life is a fantasy, Play that funky music, Satisfaction, Rollin' in my 5.0, Havin' a Roni and something that sounded a bit like 'Rosta Man' but wasn't!
Now I shall write a bit about the above songs.
"Ice Ice baby" was really good - the first time he just started the 2nd verse and then the audience just finished it for him! He told us he'd done lots of shows in lots of towns in lots of countries and was amazed we knew all the words! (I personally think this was bull- I mean, who doesn't know the lyrics to that song!!!??? Still it was pretty good.)
"Stop that train" always one of my fave songs, despite the pervy lyrics!!! it was exceptionally good live. "Hooked" was excellent, the groovy sax solo sounded really good (Whilst queueing up earlier we'd heard the saxophonist practicing this.) "Ice is workin' it" can't really remember much about this as I was screaming my head off all the way through, I'd never really thought of this as one of his better songs, but as always it sounded better live.
"Life is a fantasy" even if this song is of the strictly pervy nature it was pretty happening. "Play that funky music" my third best V.I song sounded hip and ultra groovy as Vanilla Ice and his posse launched into the 7" version of his top twenty hit.
"Rollin' in my 5.0" I hadn't even heard this one before and I'd heard it wasn't too good, but that must be a matter of opinion as I think it's really good! "Havin' a Roni" Vanilla Ice to audience ; "Are there any single women out there tonight?" Audience, especially a certain person whose initials are R.W "Yyyyyyyyeeeeeessssssssssss!!!". If I'd known then what a 'Roni' was I wouldn't have screamed so loud! This number finished off the show, it was a little longer than the album version (which last 1 min 09 secs) and the audience went wild!
As for the other song - what the hell was it??? Can't really comment on that one, 'cause I don't even know what it was called!! In between all those songs we were introduced to the V.I.P posse who demonstrated their dancing and rap techniques. We also had a competition! Who out of the left, right and middle could scream the loudest!!! I think we were the middle and we certainly gave it all we had in the screaming department!!!!!!
One thing that'll always stick in my head was the bit when V.I got us chanting: Vanilla Ice : "When I raise this arm (his right) I want all the women to shout "GO ICE! GO ICE GO!" and when I raise this arm (his left) I want all the men to shout "GO, GO, GO, GO HUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!". The 'Hurrrrrrggggghhhhh' consisted of thrusting one's groin forward, tres pervy! In fact it was all the chanting (Pump it up, pump it up London! Jus' wave yer hands in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care, Go white boy go white boy go!!!) that made it what it was, a brilliant night.
As he left the stage ("I'm outttaaaaaa here!") at about 10.45pm my only criticisms were: It was over, it didn't last long enough and he didn't play my favourite "I love you".
So it was back down the steps in a throng of people along the corridor and out the main entrance to find Susan's Dad by the "Number 2" pillar (Easier said than done!) however we were soon seated in the car amongst a lot of traffic. It was all over, but at least we had many happy memories (and ringing ears) !!!!!
Copyright Rachel Natalie Woolgar, June 29th 1991.
Jesus wept...
A few things to note: A 'Roni' was apparently slang for a virgin - delightful.
I am not exactly sure on what level a T-shirt can be happenin'.
Who the hell were Riff?
I loved the over use of exclamation marks even back then.
I am really not sure why a career at the NME did not beckon after this...
Friday, 6 August 2010
Adventures in chairland...the chapter ends
Just a v.quick excuse for a post this week as I fear that there is SO much going on right now (when is there not...?) that I may get a bit behind with my 'one a week' commitment to blogging. I have got next week off but ... there has been a significant development with the move and it looks like we will be moving house in just under two weeks. Same week I start the new job. So I think the next few weeks are going to be a bit hectic whilst I try and declutter 10 years of crap from my house. It's the kitchen cupboards tomorrow (there's a tin of BEAR in there, of all things) and today a huge bag of clothes was left out for the NSPCC. Although to be fair, a sack of clothing cleared out of my wardrobe is about as effective as chucking a deckchair off the Titanic. But still.
So, just under two hours to go at 'the job'. 'The job' that got me out of a hole after not working for six months (halcyon days full of endless trips to the gym and Starbucks, oh yes and the Job Centre.) but 'The job' that has also threatened by mental health somewhat the last few months as I felt increasingly stuck in somewhat of a career cul-de-sac. I have scored a bottle of Moet and a posh plant for the new gaff.
And so back to publishing. During my 18 month hiatus from publishing I have questioned whether I really wanted to go back into it, or if I was just clinging to it because it's all I've ever known/done since University. During my interview at the new place I realised how enthusiastic (geeky?) and animated I became as I talked about publishing, book shops, selling cycles, retailers vs wholesalers etc and also how right it felt to be surrounded again by books in display units, dump bins and, even better, spilling out of crammed bookshelves. I felt like I'd come home.
No doubt I will blog about it so watch this space...
So, just under two hours to go at 'the job'. 'The job' that got me out of a hole after not working for six months (halcyon days full of endless trips to the gym and Starbucks, oh yes and the Job Centre.) but 'The job' that has also threatened by mental health somewhat the last few months as I felt increasingly stuck in somewhat of a career cul-de-sac. I have scored a bottle of Moet and a posh plant for the new gaff.
And so back to publishing. During my 18 month hiatus from publishing I have questioned whether I really wanted to go back into it, or if I was just clinging to it because it's all I've ever known/done since University. During my interview at the new place I realised how enthusiastic (geeky?) and animated I became as I talked about publishing, book shops, selling cycles, retailers vs wholesalers etc and also how right it felt to be surrounded again by books in display units, dump bins and, even better, spilling out of crammed bookshelves. I felt like I'd come home.
No doubt I will blog about it so watch this space...
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